Thursday, April 10, 2008


There were two young brothers who were the sons of a King. Agnar and Geirrod, who were both around the age of 9, took a boat out on the water to catch a few fish. The fishing trip ended in disaster, with the boat being smashed on shore. A peasant couple found the two young boys and took care of them for the winter. Here begins the Grímnismál. This piece of the Poetic Edda (more or less the Bible of Norse mythology along with the Prose Edda) holds a description of Heiðrún, a goat.

25. Heiðrún the goat is called,
that stands o’er Odin’s hall,
and bits from Lærad’s branches.
He a bowl shall fill
with the bright mead;
that drink shall never fail.[1]

There it is: Stanza 25. Heiðrún the goat creates mead instead of milk, to quench the gods’ thirst in Odin’s abode. In the Poetic Edda, Heiðrún is in Valhöll (aka Valhalla). Here, the goat dispenses mead to the dead soldiers.

The she-goat, she who is called Heidrún, stands up in Valhall and bites the needles from the limb of that tree which is very famous, and is called Lærádr; and from her udders mead runs so copiously, that she fills a tun every day.[2]

Now this further illustrates the fact that the goat is a wonderful animal. A goat that gives you mead is quite outstanding. This brings me to the next piece of goat knowledge. Heiðrún is also the name of a meadery in Northern California. On top of this, the mead is no ordinary mead, it is sparkling mead. Mead, in case you did not know, is honey wine. This flows from a goat’s teat in Valhöll…an endless supply.

In Norway, there is a large oil field on the northwest coast. This oil field, coincidentally enough, bears the name Heiðrún. Mead is very much like oil, it’s shiny and people seem to like it. If you think of the world as a giant goat, the platform would be a giant goat teat, dispensing mead for cars to consume which allows for people to drive to places like Goat Rock and Billy Goat Trail (previously mentioned in past episodes). This supply is not endless, therefore the name is misleading. Shame on you, StatoilHydro. Back to important stuff, like dead people.

Being a dead Viking in a great hall, things probably would get pretty boring. No towns to pillage, no houses to burn, no America to discover, just a big hall of dudes taking about stuff they did a long time ago before they were decapitated by a large sword. This would get a little tedious and slightly depressing after a while. Who wants to hear Venegor talk about the time he made a suit out of one of the villagers he slaughtered in order to tick the next village into thinking he was just a normal villager (which would lure them into a false sense of security, where by allowing for more raping and pillaging)? Well, I would like to hear that story, so that’s not a good example…Eventually, these Viking warriors would get restless, angry, and probably to fight each other…a lot. People would hear about how shitty Valhöll, and wouldn’t want to die in battle (the risk of eternity of boredom too great). So Odin was smart enough to have a goat in his hall to make it more fun, because the goat had an endless supply of mead…genius.


[1] http://www.northvegr.org/lore/poetic2/index.php

[2] http://www.northvegr.org/lore/prose/049052.php

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